wishing for a little paper lantern to light up my life

Nothing happening on the adoption front of course, just dreaming of happy dreams of a little paper lantern to light up my life. My eBay Gymboree paper lanterns line items arrived in the mail, so I've got my "baby clothes are crack for mommies" fix for the week. Sedona must have developed oldest child syndrome already, as she wants all of my attention and is jumping in front of the camera when I try to take pictures.

Poem: I don't look like my mommy

My friend Jeri e-mailed me this poem today.
I'm pretty lucky to have such great friends!

I don’t look like my mommy
People have started to say
I don’t look like my mommy
So I asked her why one day

"Some babies are so special,
They come in different ways
Some must wait for their babies
For days and days and days

Some babies come from close by
The Mom who had them could not stay
Other Mommies are waiting for them
For a baby they pray and pray and pray

Other babies are born in a far-away land
The mommy who had them no longer there
But some Mommies fly across the sea
A baby’s love to share

You may have a different skin color
Or a different kind of hair
But the love Mommy has for her baby
Will truly always be there

No matter how you or I look
One thing will always be true
You are my precious baby
And I will always love you"

~ Victoria Carrington

AGENCY UPDATE: still waiting on little girls

Kevin talked with our agency today. There haven't been any healthy infant girl referrals since May, and we still have a few families in line ahead of us. What does that mean? Well, no one knows... that's what it means. If they had a handful of girl referrals all at one time (in my dreams!), we could get one anytime. If the girls straggle in one at a time, it could be a while. So, I'm good! I feel so reassured about this process, and we'll just keep going on with or lives... and one day we'll eventually get some exciting news that triggers a life-changing chain of events.

And... speaking of life-changing events, today was gotcha day for little Miranda and her family. Happy, happy day!

And... don't buy this book: Losing Plum Blossom. It's horrible. I had to stop after chapter one. I'm throwing it in the trash, seriously. I really don't want to read a huge novel about a woman from Indiana living in Taipei lusting over a gay physician.

Until then... stay tuned to this channel for more episodes of retail therapy, designer baby burp cloth construction, Chinese cooking, and an endless supply of cutie Sedona babydog pictures. Just don't expect a referral anytime soon. We'll be suprised together when the big day happens. Right, Sedona? What was that? Oh, you want to play fetch with your doggie phone? Okay, gotta go.

I bought these Gymboree pants from the sunflower fields line on eBay gently used. I got as excited about these pants as Sedona does for doggy treats! The paper lanterns pattern onesie and baby blanket packages arrived today too. They are lovely, and make me want to go out and buy some Dreft.

Adoption Humor: The Accidental Adoption

Some of you may have read this before. If not, enjoy!

THE ACCIDENTAL ADOPTION
Have you every noticed that you hear all the time about "accidental" pregnancies, but never about couples who experience "accidental" adoptions? Can you imagine: Honey, sit down. I have some news for you. What is it? Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went out to the mailbox today and . . . well, we got an I-171H. A what?!?! An I-171H? As in, we're going to have another baby?!? It looks that way. But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank 1-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update? Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that one night . . . What night? (pauses) Ohhh, that night. But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use black ink! (pauses again) But it was kind of fun. (giggles) It was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints. So now we've got our I171H, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everything's okay? I already did. And? I'm five documents along. Five documents! And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated, okay? Just great. There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the notary's middle initial, but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass. Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay? I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy about this. Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy.

Adoption Humor: "Oh, I'm sorry... You couldn't adopt?"

Tonight at Barnes and Noble I was blissfully browsing the International Cooking section when my happy thoughts of steamed dumplings and moon cakes were interrupted. A couple looking about 19 years old were looking at What to Expect When You're Expecting, whispering about what's going on in their 7.5 week old pregnancy. I started to turn a little green with envy until I began thinking of this cartoon, an amused grin appeared on my face, and the interruption became much more bearable!

Designer Burp Cloths: Even I could do this!

Here's a project to keep pre-adoptive mommas busy. I've been browsing Etsy lately and looking at all of the beautiful handmade items that people have for sale. I've seen so many people on Etsy selling burp cloths and bibs. I've been thinking, "You know, with some instructions... surely even I could do this." Well, I found some instructions and it's a go! I've got the cloth diapers, my sewing machine is out, and I'm just waiting for the fabric to arrive. Here's a neat site with lots of beautiful Asian fabrics. I'll start with simple burp cloths first and see how it goes before I take on a bib. I've ordered some fabrics online today and can't wait to start!

Still no news from the agency. Have to do things like plan out construction of baby burp cloths to keep busy and keep positive.

6 months

Here we are at six months on the waiting list for a referral. This was to be our average anticipated wait time. We're looking for you, little one... wherever you are.

Chinese proverb helps me with my chi

"If I keep a green bough in my heart,

then the singing bird will come." - Chinese proverb

When we prepare to succeed and believe in our goals,

it’s almost inevitable that we will accomplish them.

What we think about comes about.

No more crying. It doesn't help, just drives me nuts. I'm working on my chi this week, needing some positive energy as I wait, and wait, for news. Retail therapy to the rescue! I've discovered gently used and NWT (new with tags) Gymboree on eBay, and have bought some items from the retired paper lanterns line that I'm very excited about. I also found this bird and blossoms art print on Etsy. It's my inspiration for the week, and I will frame it with this Chinese proverb for Hannah Claire's nursery.

Reed is coming home!

My bloggy friends Jeff and Abbey have got word of their final ruling today and are ready to travel! Just three weeks until they are in Taiwan taking pictures all around town and in the hotel room with the real Reed. Who is going to watch Flat Reed while Jeff and Abbey are away in Taiwan? I am so excited for this little family and their blessings!

feeling a little better

I'm feeling a little better this weekend. I've been anxious last week about getting our family approved by St. Lucy's Center or Chung Yi. I'm trying not to think about it, and work doing all of the house cleaning and laundry that I didn't do while I was in my funk. An update from our agency is supposed to come this week. I don't think I want to know when our info is in Taiwan for approval then matching with a child, because I know it will really stress me out. Ignorance isn't bliss, but it's much less stressful.

My mind is on happier thoughts, especially wanting to paint that baby room, then penciling in the outline of a plum blossom (national flower of Taiwan) tree in for a mural. I'm trying to decide between white blossoms and pink blossoms for the tree, as plum blossoms can be either color.

I'll try to get my head out of the clouds and into the kitchen this week. I found some Won Ton wrappers next to tofu in the produce section of the evil empire store tonight. I'd like to experiment with cooking with them this week. If any of you have made little dumplings before at home and have some favorites, send me links! Send me links to recipes that look good, and I'll post some pics with recipes of what we made.

What the World Eats

If you've visited here lately, you know that I've been interested in Taiwanese food. Well, I'm interested in pretty much anything Taiwanese right now. Anway, here's a cool link that goes along with that theme called What the World Eats. It has pictures of what families from around the world eat in a weeks' time, and the cost of their food. Amazing! If you liked looking at these pictures, also take a look and listen to the audio track of this NPR discussion. They also list exactly what some of the families ate.

my prayer for anxiety relief

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Dear Lord, I need you now because I am full of stress and anxiety. I ask you to come take my heavy burdens. Please carry them for me so I don't have to. I will try not to be afraid, but I feel that way now.

I'm having a very hard time this week. No, I don't have any news... but I'm very worried about the potential for problems. We're supposed to have a personalized update next week. I didn't know I could cry this much. I love my husband so much. He doesn't have answers for me either, but he hugs me and holds my hand so sweetly.

Growing blogroll list

I've moved by blogroll list to it's own site. You're welcome to link to it and also use it as a surfboard to read other's blogs. It's been getting so big lately! As always, if you don't want your Taiwan adoption blog listed or if I haven't discovered yours yet and you'd like listed, let me know. I consider blogs to be public and that you must have wanted people to read them. If you want them to be private you can always password protect them or make them available by invitation only.

A referral for Kathy and Jeff!

Congratulations to my bloggy friends Kathy and Jeff who got a referral of a beautiful itty bitty baby boy yesterday!

Margarita Night: "Yes, Sir. I'll have another. Thank you."

We heard today our update will come Wednesday or Thursday. Today at work I decided that I'm done putting in overtime. My nerves can't take waiting for adoption news AND working 10-15 hours overtime every single week. Summer is nearly over and I feel like I missed it. Kevin's taking me out for dinner now. I think it's a two margarita night. "Yes, Sir. I'll have another. Thank you." That reminds me of a t-shirt for sale. Maybe I need one of these???

eager for news...

I stare at the phone, then check the dial tone. I hit the send/receive button once, twice, three times. No mail. Just eager for news tonight and suffering from tension headaches. Can't seem to concentrate and get it together to do all of the other things I need to get accomplished. I want news so badly I'd even eat canned fermented raw salted pork in return for adoption news. That's right, ewwwww! Send/receive again. No mail. Sigh.

Plum Blossoms and Taiwan Express

Kevin and I are obviously computer people. We love to read, but spend more time in bookstores and ordering from Amazon.com than in libraries. I had the day off today, and we ventured into our local library. A friend in the children's department gave us a personal tour. The story hour room is absolutely beautiful with lots of handpainted murals, and when you turn down the lights... you can turn on the starry night twinkling ceiling complete with shooting stars. I remember loving story hour as a child, and can't wait to have Hannah Claire lugging a huge book bag to go to story hour.

We checked out a few books on Taiwan today at the library, and I read that the plum blossom is the national flower of Taiwan. Now I'm thinking I'd like to paint a mural of a plum blossom tree in a corner of the nursery arching up over the window and maybe growing up on part of the ceiling too. Pretty, symbolic, and not so babyish as Hannah Claire grows up!

Tonight we ate at the Taiwan Express restaurant in Fort Wayne with another pre-adoptive couple. We had a great time and closed the place down, talking for three hours! The food was pretty typical Americanized Chinese food. No stinky tofu, tea eggs, bubble tea, or raw salted pork fermenting in a jar. Kevin is a hot and sour soup fan, and liked theirs because it was a lot more spicy than we've had before. I liked the egg rolls because they were extra thin and crispy on the outside. Now if eating at Taiwan Express could just speed up the Taiwan adoption process....

checking blogs and e-mails multiple times daily

A friend joked with me last night in an e-mail message that she thinks that she checked this blog at work 15 times yesterday. No news! Heehee. I think that's pretty funny! I promised her that I'd send her an e-mail when we get a referral before I post to the blog so she'll know right away. And S.S., you just checked 10 times, not the 15 that you thought!

I'm guilty of checking other's blogs multiple times daily when I'm excited for them as they wait patiently... or not so patiently for news. It's addicting, especially when you're checking on someone's blog that you know is in line right ahead of you with the same agency. Good news for you means good news for me, buddy! So many others have had good adoption news this last week that I keep thinking, maybe I'll have news too! It doesn't help that people have told me that they get good news e-mails from our agency in the middle of the night, and I've heard of people waking up in the middle of the night to check their e-mail every night... and finally finding their referral news at 2am.

If you're a blogger I encourage you to use something like Google Analytics to see where your visitors come from. I started using Analytics on June 10th, and it tells me that I've had visitors from 26 countries and 44 states (missing states are Montana, North Dakota, Delaware, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine). It's inspiring to know that one has readers from all over the globe.

Now I just wish that referral phone call would come along and I'd have something to talk about!!! As soon as we have that little picture in our hands (and in the in-box of our close friends and family) I just have a feeling that I'll have a burst of energy to go-go-go paint the nursery, install closet organizers, buy a crib and other furniture, install cabinet door and toilet seat safety locks, clean the house, wash the dog, spit shine the garage floor... Well, maybe not spit shine the garage floor, but you get the idea. Right now all I want to do is check my e-mail multiple times a day and sit on the couch looking around at clutter... and I have no desire to do anything about it. Bad, Sarah. Bad Bad. It's so bad that I don't even want to look at baby clothes right now. Wow, did I really just write that?!?!?

Bizarre Foods of Taiwan on the Travel Channel

Thanks to our TIVO recording anything with the keyword "Taiwan", we discovered this great show on "bizarre" foods of Taiwan on the Travel Channel. I still can't wait to try fried stinky tofu when we get to Taiwan, but I think I'll skip the uncooked salted pork. Kevin is pretty adventurous. He's willing to try most anything, but his eyes got really wide with surprise while watching this show.

This video clip is just part 1 of 6. To watch the entire hour long show, go to this YouTube link.

Baby Ella Violet and labor dreams

I just got a e-mail that my cousin and his wife had their baby Ella Violet late last night (Friday night)! She's a very cute scrunched up little chub at 8 pounds 10 ounces. I've been told that momma and baby are doing well, but have to be very tired after 24 hours of labor and then a c-section. I love the names Ella and Violet. Beautiful!!!!!

I wasn't going to share this dream with anyone... but I find it really ironic that this happened the night Ella was born. Last night I had my first pregnancy/labor dream. I dreamt that I was in a delivery room, but it was a huge room with four beds with three other couples using them. I remember being really glad that I was being prepped by my doctor and not a stranger I did not know. I was frustrated with Kevin because he forgot to bring my digital camera. I wanted him to go get it for me but he wouldn't leave my side. (Sweet husband.) My mom was there in the background and I knew that she had her camera, but I really wanted *my* camera. My labor was not progressing and I was frustrated. In real life, this "paper pregnancy" sure isn't progressing very quickly either with no news, no news, no news, every week!

Guitar Hero

No baby news, just a little rockin' in the living room.

Here's what we're up to lately, as the new version

of Guitar Hero Rocks the 80s is out.