spinning seeds

 simple things  tiny moments  amaze me  and take my breath away  anything but discarded put here for a purpose  new life, renewal, growth

Video: Let's Talk about Taiwan

four year old 我愛你 translation troubles

When I put Hannah to bed I try to keep the same bedtime routine.  We put on jammies, potty, brush teeth, floss, and then get tucked into bed.  I tell her, "Night night.  I love you.  Wo ai ni!"  One night as an afterthought I asked Hannah what wo ai ni means.  She responded, "It means go to sleep!"  I cracked up so hard.  It means "I love you!" not "Go to sleep!"  Hahaha!

Hudson fotopalooza

After waiting for what seemed like forever for meaningful updates on Hudson, here's what we learned about him in March. He was 81cm tall and weighed 13kg. He loves to play with others. Once he sees anyone playing the game, he will jump in right away. Sometimes he wont cry if someone takes the toy away from him. He has a good appetite, he is sweet, and not afraid of strangers. He loves to see himself in pictures and wants to take a look at the camera after shooting. Hudson loves to play ball and is extremely happy when someone plays ball with him.














Still waiting for travel dates. I've got apartments picked out in Taipei that would work if they have availability, learned that airfare prices are pretty stable for mid-week travel in May, have selected a beach house in Kenting to stay at for a a couple of few nights. Hudson's and Hannah's things are packed. I have a list of what clothing I'll be bringing. The kids things will be in my suitcase and Kevin's taking care of everything he needs in a large backpack. We'll bring a duffle bag with us to put clothing in on the way home to make room in my suitcase for things we buy in Taiwan.

breakfast date

  I had a breakfast date this morning   with my BFF before going to story hour at the library.   I love how she wrinkles her nose.  We don't do this enough!

growing up so fast

This photo of Hudson is dated December 29, 2011.
He's twelve months old here.

Every photo is a treasure.

Hudson's final decree is in!

I made the mistake of looking at my cell phone at a red light on my way home from work.  It was a message from our adoption agency.  It wasn't an emergency, but they'd like to share with us some news before the weekend.  Of course, I called it right away!!!  I was blown away to hear that our final decree was in.  That means that the adoption has been finalized in Taiwan!  I was really surprised, and so overjoyed!  I started crying.  It's a good thing that I was almost home and was turning off the state highway.

The adoption facilitator in Taiwan is working on travel dates already.  We might have these as soon as next week.  I'm anticipating leaving for Taiwan in 3-6 weeks, but we'll see what happens when we get this information next week.  We'd like to do some sightseeing in Taiwan before picking up Hudson, like we did before getting Hannah.  I've got a couple of apartment rentals picked out in Taipei, and I'm really excited that airfare costs are at an excellent price in May.  All three of us could fly to Taiwan for less than the price of one of our tickets when we went to bring home Hannah over Christmas and New Year's.  That's a blessing!  There isn't extra money in this adoption budget for super fancy hotels and business class airfare with this adoption like there was for Hannah's.

I'll be starting to post photos shortly.  That's what you're all waiting for, right?  :)

We went out for Chinese food at our neighborhood restaurant to celebrate.  This was Kevin's fortune.

Meet our son! - referral photos

Meet our son!

More photos to follow. Not many, but we have a few more. :)

Redirect: Rethinking Tikki Tikki Tembo

This is an important read from Taiwanese American children's author Grace Lin regarding the book Tikki Tikki Tembo.

seven months

Hudson Ray, It was seven months ago we first heard of you, little man. Thinking of you, every day. Trusting in others that work in your best interests to bring us together. I hope you feel loved tonight. You are from afar. Love, Mama

so loved

We went out to dinner last night with two other adoptive family friends. We met one family online and the other at while shopping at Target. What do we have in common? Little girls that are SO LOVED! By the end of the year we'll add THREE little boys under age 2 to the mix of this group from China and Taiwan.

I'm laughing so hard right now.  Kevin was just talking to Hannah about our upcoming trip to Taiwan and told her all about going to the Hello Kitty Cafe with desserts that look like Hello Kitty.  Hannah asked if they had cupcakes and strawberry cake.  I find this so funny as last time we were at the Hello Kitty Cafe in Taipei Kevin made it known that he was not having a good time and enjoyed stabbing his gelatin Hello Kitty with a fork repeatedly.  This time with a four year old little girl, things are different.  Kevin's looking forward to going there because he knows she'll love it.  That's my man!  :)

Hello Kitty Cafe - January 1, 2009

This is what 35 looks like.

I woke up at age 35 with Hannah climbing on top of me. I pretended to still be asleep, hoping she'd decide to rest her head on the pillow next to me so I could lay in bed for another 30 minutes. Then the little squeaky voice whispered, "Mama, is it your birthday now?" I replied yes with my eyes closed.  She excitedly whispered more loudly, "Then you'll be five!" I opened my eyes land laughed.  Love that kid!  Kevin cooked us breakfast, and we eventually got out the door for a day of shopping and eating out.


    Checking out the used Wii games section at Game Stop.Picking out all of the Disney Princess, Dora, Diego, and Ballerina games to show to Daddy. This is what "like father, like daughter" looks like.    We had a fun day eating out, being together in the sunshine, and doing a little shopping. RETURNED all of the warm weather clothing in size 18 months that I had recently purchased for Hudson and purchased a few 2T short sleeved polo shirts and a shorts set at Old Navy and Target.    French fries, chicken strips, lemonade, and a play place for lunch.Knocking over a cup over and over on purpose to be funny.This is what happy looks like.
  Not working out or counting calories on my birthday.Love in my eyes as Hannah takes my picture with my iPhone.This is what 35 looks like.    A long fun day with Mama and Daddy and falling asleep in the car on the way home.Exclaiming "But I'm not tired!" when we wake her up to do potty and jammies before bed.This is what tired looks like. Feeling very blessed on my birthday.  Thanks to all of my friends for the well wishes today.

birthday present for me - a Hudson update!

On my birthday eve we received an email with SEVEN photos of Hudson.  He is a big boy!  At fifteen months he is 81cm and 13kg.  After reading the email on my phone at work, I'm doing the math and realizing that he's two pounds heavier than Hannah!  Tonight I broke out the CDC growth chart and realized that's over the 90th percentile for weight at 75th for height.  Going to have to take back the 18th month things that I just bought at Old Navy for him!  Hudson was described as being very social and not afraid of strangers.  He loves to play ball and is extremely happy when someone plays ball with him.  Such a contrast to our little shy flower that only talks to people that she knows very well.

good girl

Kevin's been talking a lot lately about how good of a girl Hannah is. She wants to please us, is very considerate of feelings, shares well, and accepts bad news well and rarely throws a fit. Telling Hannah, "Stop that. You're acting very naughty." is very hurtful to her feelings and will cause her to cry. It does get the point across that the behavior is not acceptable and must be stopped. She's so sensitive about the word naughty that we have to reserve it for truly bad behavior.

Lately when we're in a public place and Hannah observes other children misbehaving, she'll whisper to us, "That girl is being naughty." I find this terribly amusing!

Hannah rarely makes a fuss when it is time to go to bed. She's not happy about it and will sometimes tell us, "I'm not sleepy" a few times before jumping into bed, but that's about it.

We're certainly blessed with a very good girl.

video: biker chick

We went to the toy store Friday night after dinner



and tested several bicycles to see what size and style would work for Hannah now



and would give her some growing room for the next few summers.



Of course, a bicycle that is PINK with STREAMERS and a BELL
and decorated with PINK CUPCAKES fits the bill perfectly.
The baby doll with no hair even gets to ride along!



In case you couldn't tell, I'm very proud of our little biker chick!

when, when, when?

I can't help but analyze Taiwan adoption timelines again. From submission into court to adoption finalization often ranges from 1.5-4 months. We should have been submitted into court in early/mid January. That means if things are going smoothly, I'm hoping for some good news that the adoption is finalized anywhere from now until two months from now. And that's a definite maybe.

Thrilled to read facebook status updates about two adoptive family friends leaving today and meeting in Tokyo on the way to Taiwan to meet their sons!

care package on the way to Hudson!

XXL care package and a book about our family for Hudson's foster family is on the way to Hudson. Contents: baby photo album, two outfits, socks, two sets of jammies (including space jammies from Auntie Lora), ball, teddy bear, tooth paste, tooth brush, Bumpkins bib, and chocolates for his foster parents. So happy to ship this that the comment "Do you have a new grandbaby?" from another customer at the shipping store just rolled off my back. Seriously?!? Kevin finds this extra funny. Not fair that Kevin is 6.5 years older than me and hasn't been mistaken for Hannah's grandfather... yet.

adoptive parent blunder for the evening

I sent Kevin out to pick up a movie that I reserved on Redbox tonight titled "The Shunning." I used to work one day a week in a community with a lot of Amish and enjoyed learning about this group of people. It was a made for TV movie and I assumed that it would be family friendly. Anyway, I had no idea that the film was about a woman who was adopted by an Amish couple and never told about the adoption. Hannah picked up on it right away, about five seconds after I did.

In my head alarm bells went off. Oh no! We have to talk about what's going on in the movie. We stopped the movie and talked about why the twenty year old young woman was so upset because her mommy and daddy never told her about her adoption story until she was a grown up. This made the young woman feel very angry. I reminded Hannah about how we talk about the baby house and Taiwan family and she has seen lots of pictures of herself in Taiwan. I emphasized that we don't keep secrets about her adoption in our house, that she can talk about it anytime she wants to, and that it's okay to feel happy or sad about her adoption. I shared that I would be very angry, too, if my parents kept secrets from me about my adoption.

I asked, "Is there anything you want to talk about?" Hannah replied, "My baby brother is in Taiwan and he's going to be coming home soon. I'm going to share my toys with him."

I love that girl dearly. Movie resumed. Ding ding! Text message. One new Hudson photo! Hooray!

Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

"Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"
--Dixie Chicks (2003)

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

6 months, 1 week, and 1 day since we first heard of you and saw your photo. I think of you every day, little man. Every day.

frequently eaten foods

If other dieters are interested, here's my frequently eaten foods list from my Lifestrong My Plate app. Calorie info is all from the app. Note that I'm not recommending this diet. This is just what my log says I've been eating.

blackberries - 10 berries - 10 calories
red raspberries - 1 cup - 64 calories
Philsbury Egg Scrambles Sausage (in the frozen section) - 280 calories per package
Subway Turkey and Ham 6" on wheat with provolone cheese, veggies, and sweet onion sauce - 370 calories
Subway 6" Black Forest ham, egg whites, and provolone cheese on flat bread with tomatoes, green peppers, and onions - 350 calories
Apple Snapz - 50 calories
Fat Free Crumbled Feta - 1oz - 30 calories
Foldit Hungry Girl wrap - 100 calories
cherry tomato - 3 calories
Jif creamy peanut butter - 2 Tbsp - 190 calories
CVS almonds - 30 almonds - 180 calories
apples
asparagus - 10 stalks - 27 calories
Lean Cuisine BBQ chicken pizza - 350 calories
half BLT cobb salad - 230 calories
bananna - 110 calories
butter flavored popcorn oil - 1 Tbsp - 120 calories
popcorn (unpopped) - 3 Tbsp - 120 calories
canned peaches with Splenda - 1/2 cup - 35 calories
chicken breast
diced ham - 2 oz - 70 calories
steamed edamame - 1/2 cup - 110 calories
fat free cottage cheese - 1/2 up - 80 calories
strawberries - 1 cup - 77 calories
Oikos plain Greek yogurt - 1 cup - 130 calories
CVS animal crackers - 14 crackers - 140 calories
skim milk - 1 cup - 80 calories
light mayo - 1 Tbsp - 45 calories
Edy's pineapple or strawberry fruit bars - 80 calories
Splenda
lowfat granola - 2/3 cup - 230 calories
salsa - 2 Tbsp - 10 calories
imitation crab - 85g - 80 calories
CVS whey protein - 1 scoop - 140 calories
Aunt Millie's whole grain light bread - 1 slice - 35 calories
Kroger Rice Bitz - 1 and 1/4 cup - 120 calories
honey - 1 Tbsp - 60 calories
coffee
tuna fish
pork chops
lots of various brands of thinly sliced lunch meats
lots of various Lean Cuisine meals
baby carrots
broccoli
various lettuces

So, I'm not so hot at incorporating vegetables. I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix this week. Thinking about doing a juicing reboot for 10 days, and my cousin has offered to let me borrow her juicer so I don't have to invest in a couple hundred dollar machine to try this out.

I started some krill oil to try to raise my HDL. I've been so frustrated that this low number hasn't improved with exercise, diet changes, weight loss. Then I did some research and learned that the krill oil dose that I've been using is the anti-inflammatory dose and not an HDL raising dose. Arg! I've done some research and I'm going to try Neptune krill oil at the 1500mg dose for several months and we'll see what happens.

my journey continues

Just a little update on my weight loss journey. Today I'm at minus 57 pounds and 2-3 pant sizes from where I started. I think I started some dieting in January 2011 but it didn't get serious until we joined the YMCA in March 2011. There's been some ups and downs these past couple of months. I had a goal of meeting my first weight loss goal by Christmas. LOL! That was crazy. Did I really think I was going to loose weight during the Christmas season?!?! My inlaws visited for a few weeks. I ate whatever I wanted and didn't go work out, spending time with family instead. Several pounds slipped back on. Grrr! Messed up all of that hard work. I got back on track in January, took the pounds back off... that is until I did all of that baking of cupcakes for Hannah's birthday and then the dragon cake. Having icing and cake sitting around my house is a horrible idea. A few pounds slipped back on again, and then I had to work hard to get them off, once again.

Right now I'm at minus 57 pounds. At this point, this is the lightest I've been in at least eight years. While trying to get pregnant for a year and then starting the adoption process, I lost about 30 pounds via diet alone and no exercise. While waiting for Hannah to come home I gave up, and the pounds crept back on because of eating whatever I wanted and not exercising.

In the past two months I've added lap swimming and water jogging to my exercise routine, heading to a middle school pool once or twice a week. Swimming is not hard, burns so many calories, and my body feels all stretched out and great after 50 minutes of swimming. Water jogging is especially fun to do with a friend, as one can girl gab while doing this. Lap swimming just leaves me and my thoughts to entertain myself. Sometimes I can't help but wish I could have my iPod and headphones on while in the pool. I wish my schedule worked out so that I could get into the pool more often. When I'm on the treadmill I'm continually thinking "When can I get off this thing?" I don't think the same way when I'm in the pool.

I had some nice feedback last time I posted about this, so I thought I'd fill my readers in on how things have been going. I'm in this for the long haul.

iPhone photos from this week

Daddy is feeling a little under the weather tonight.
Hannah and I went out for dinner to give Daddy some peace and quiet at home.
Hannah requested to go to see our friends at "Peng You's Restaurant," our neighborhood Chinese restaurant. She likes noodles, chicken on a stick, shrimp, hot and sour soup,
and spring rolls. We learned how to say restaurant in Mandarin. cān tīng



When we opened our fortune cookies Hannah's asked, "What's it say?"
I replied, "You need to clean up your room. It is too messy!"
We both laughed!



Our little artist has been busy making masterpieces this week.
Rainbows are a recurring subject in her work.



Hannah also drew my portrait. I had no idea that my complexion was purple!

dreaming of what we want to see/do in Taiwan

Kevin and I have been making a list of where we want to go when we return to Taiwan. Here's the list for my reference and to share with others.

must (new places):
Taiwan Indigenous Cultural Park
Shung Ye Museum of Formosan Aborigines
National Palace Museum
Longshan Temple in Taipei

must (do-overs):
Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall - photo op
Sun Yat-Sen Memorial - photo op
Din Tai Fung for dumplings - yummy!
go up Taipei 101 with Hudson

would like to (new places):
Snake Alley
Jade and Flower Market
Taipei Zoo
Ximending
Ping Hsi railway line
Taipei Eye

Restaurant suggestions

apartment and condo rentals in Taipei

This post serves as an index of sites where you can rent an apartment for a short term in Taipei. I'm using this to collect the information for myself and share with others that are interested. I'll add more links as I find them.

FRBO
HomeAway
Sublet.com
Trip Advisor - I like this site best

I'm seriously considering renting an apartment in Taipei for when we travel to Taiwan to meet Hudson. Because we're planning on traveling with Hannah, we need to go very light on luggage in order to have hands free for two little ones. Kevin and I are planning on only bringing four days worth of clothing with us and washing clothes at the apartment. Most likely Hudson will come with clothing and shoes that he's been wearing while living with his foster family.

We're planning on flying coach this time around. Business class was SWEET when we traveled for Hannah, but we can't justify the added cost this time around with Hannah. We will buy Hudson his own seat for the ride home so we'll have plenty of butt room for everyone.

"Mama? How does your name go?"

"Mama? How does your name go?"
"What do you mean, Hannah?"
"What are your letters?"
"Oh. S - A - R - A - H."
Two minutes later, "Here you go, Mama. I made this for you!"

That's my smart girl! So proud of this!"

"For Christmas?"

Today, out of the blue, Hannah asked me if I knew what I wanted for Christmas. "For Christmas?" I asked. That's a really long way away. Hannah replied, "Well, maybe you can want to bring home my baby brother for Christmas."

Uh... I'll settle for Christmas in July. Or May or June even. April will work. I'll start writing my letters to Santa.

push send/receive... push send/receive again. any news?

In the five months, one week, and one day since we've known about the little boy we hope to name Hudson, we've only received one tiny update on him that consisted of two undated photos. We have no developmental and personality info on our little guy since he was six or seven months old. We understood going into a foster care adoption case that we could have very few updates, but this is really hard. It is really difficult to feel emotionally connected to this adoption this time around because we feel that we know so little about him. We have all sorts of information on the social history of the case, but very little information on our little guy. This doesn't mean we don't want him. This means we yearn to learn more about him, if he's walking, what foods he likes, who loves on him in his foster family, what makes him laugh, and what soothes him when he cries. So if I don't post about him... it's not because I'm not thinking about him. I think about him every day, check my e-mail multiple times a day for a few words, a few photos, and there's never anything there. It's sad. It's a darn good thing I'm too busy to dwell on this much... because when I do, it makes me so sad! Still plugging along tracking calories, exercising at least three times a week, being really frustrated with work while having two good employees on medical leave... loads of extra work dumped on with new year changes, going to story hour at the library, planning play dates, doing laundry, etc etc etc.

Redirect: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!!!

We had a blast at Teresa and Curtis' home last Sunday to eat yummy food, girl gab, and watch the superbowl commercials. Gabriella and Hannah provided the entertainment. Thanks for sharing your photos of the girls HERE, Teresa!

good read: It okay to ask if someone's kids are adopted?

Linking to a good read at Rage Against the Minivan titled "It okay to ask if someone's kids are adopted?"

My answer to this question: It is okay to ask, but don't ask in front of my child/children because I don't want my child/children to feel as though they are being singled out for looking different than I do. Depending on how you ask and why I presume you are asking, I may answer you in the following ways:

• "We are an an adoptive family." I'll answer your questions, but I'm not going to allow you to single out my child for looking different than I do. We come as a package deal. We're a family.
• "Why do you ask?" I'm feeling protective of our family's information and want to feel you out first before I talk to you. I want to figure out if you're an adoptive family as well, if you're just nosey, or if you are genuinely interested in adoption.
  
• If you ask in a disrespectful way, I might say this. "I've always thought it was rude to ask strangers personal questions." I've never had to use this one, but I've got it on the back burner, just in case.
• If it's obvious that you are likely a member of an adoptive family as well, I'll just straight up tell you that we adopted our child/children from Taiwan when she/they were X months/years old. I can see why you're asking. I'm also more likely going to respond to Asian Americans with this answer, as I'm wanting to make connections with you and see what we have in common.

my Belle

Hannah has three favorite Disney princesses: Rapunzel, Mulan, and Belle. For her fourth birthday, our present to Hannah was a Belle dress and crown... with a promise to take her to see Beauty and the Beast at the movie theater, and she could wear her Belle dress to the movies. I think she was more excited about wearing the Belle dress outside the house than actually seeing the movie.

I had the day off today and decided it was a good day to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D before it left the theaters. I told Hannah, "Let's make a deal. Do you know what a deal is?" She nodded. "How about we go see the Belle movie tonight, but in order to go... you have to take a nap today because we're going to stay out late." Hannah was very excited! She ran to her bedroom, jumped in bed, and shut her eyes. It was so funny! This from the girl that forever tells me, "I'm not tired."

After a good nap I helped Hannah get the Belle dress on with plenty of warm clothes underneath. It's 26F degrees outside, after all! She also requested to wear gold sparkle shoes and carry a pink wand. We had dinner at Panera Bread and got all kinds of smiles from the other diners. I don't think the other diners expected a "character dining" experience when they decided to eat at Panera tonight. After a quick Target run, we hit the theater. We didn't even have to tell the ticket attendant what movie we wanted to see. Somehow... he guessed that we were there to see Beauty and the Beast!

She was so good and so sweet tonight. "Mama, there's some scary parts at the end. But it's okay. It's just a-tend." Hannah kept offering me popcorn from her popcorn cup, and wanted to make sure that I had plenty of snacks, too.

Today was a great day. Love that girl!

Redirect: A Very Special Birthday!!!

Thanks, Teresa, for sharing your photos of Hannah's birthday party with us!

note to self

Note to self: Make sure child's iPad is not in said child's bedroom when you put child in bed. Child might be up an extra two and a half hours watching Angelina Ballerina in bed on Netflix.

photos from Hannah's 4th birthday party

Get out your toothbrush. This post is so sweet and sugary
that if you don't brush after reading it you might get a cavity!


Thanks to Lora for these four photos! They're my favorites!


Teresa and Lora helped out in the kitchen.


We had cupcakes (and more cupcakes), fresh fruit, taco chips and a dip tray,
Valentine peanut M&Ms, pink lemonade, soft drinks, and coffee.


I can't believe we really fit 40 people in to our little house.


Decorating cupcakes and cookies is one of Hannah's favorite things to do,
so of course we had to let everyone decorate their own cupcake. Kids went first.


Hannah accessorized her party dress on her own that day.


That's my girl!


Gabriella thinks this was a good idea, too.


Allie and Lora look like they're having a good time.

We bought a cupcake pinata and stuffed it full of all kinds of candies. We didn't have anything to hang it from, so Kevin held it. We didn't blindfold the kids. We started with Hannah letting her swing a big stick at it first. She didn't make a dent in it. We went from the youngest to oldest, letting them take several whacks at the cupcake, but it was tough! It was a little nerve wracking to watching the kids swing that stick and trying to stop them from smacking each other with it. The bigger kids fought hard with the pinata, and Lora's boys started to make a little progress. Finally, the oldest kid at the party, the neighbor girl across the street, took a couple of big hard whacks at the cupcake and it rained down candy.

A big thank you goes out to my mom and dad for helping with chairs and tables and to Teresa for getting supplies for and facilitating a round of the Grand Prize Game. Hannah has played with the heart shaped buckets and ping pong balls every day since the party!

The sweetest thing about the whole day was watching Hannah
hold hands of both of her friends Allie and Gabriella
and run around the house with them. Big smiles. Pure joy!