Friday, February 10, 2012

push send/receive... push send/receive again. any news?

In the five months, one week, and one day since we've known about the little boy we hope to name Hudson, we've only received one tiny update on him that consisted of two undated photos. We have no developmental and personality info on our little guy since he was six or seven months old. We understood going into a foster care adoption case that we could have very few updates, but this is really hard. It is really difficult to feel emotionally connected to this adoption this time around because we feel that we know so little about him. We have all sorts of information on the social history of the case, but very little information on our little guy. This doesn't mean we don't want him. This means we yearn to learn more about him, if he's walking, what foods he likes, who loves on him in his foster family, what makes him laugh, and what soothes him when he cries. So if I don't post about him... it's not because I'm not thinking about him. I think about him every day, check my e-mail multiple times a day for a few words, a few photos, and there's never anything there. It's sad. It's a darn good thing I'm too busy to dwell on this much... because when I do, it makes me so sad! Still plugging along tracking calories, exercising at least three times a week, being really frustrated with work while having two good employees on medical leave... loads of extra work dumped on with new year changes, going to story hour at the library, planning play dates, doing laundry, etc etc etc.


  1. I'm thinking about you. We haven't spoken much about it, but I would imagine it's quite a bit different the second time around, especially since Hudson is in foster care and not actually at St. Lucy's. It's must be different not having the same group of families that share in the connection as well... I'm sorry. Please know that I'm always here and more than willing to listen to anything you have on your mind or have heavy on your heart. Even though you have Hannah to keep you busy, it doesn't change the fact that you are still waiting to know your baby boy! It doesn't lesson the fact that you worry about him and want to be the one to hold him and feed him and soothe his cries. I remember what it was like waiting for Allie and I had 3 to keep me busy - It didn't lesson the pain that I felt one bit! They were here and she wasn't - My heart ached for her just the same - It hurt - Plain and simple!
    It's okay to feel all of the emotions that come with this adoption. Waiting for your second child doesn't mean that you feel anything less for Hannah. I promise.
    Sending you big hugs tonight Mama Bear!

    P.S. Sarah, Please don't think that I don't ask about our little man, because I don't think about him or care. I don't ask very often because I know you would call me the moment something new came in and I don't want to make you feel more sad about waiting than you already do...

  2. Praying for updates for you soon! I know how hard it is to wonder what is going on with your guy! One of the hardest things for me with Jeremiah was finding out after the fact how he had serious pneumonia and was in hospital and such. I can't imagine being so far into the adoption and not having more information. I know your heart aches to know more! I don't know how foster care adoption works but I am praying you get court news as well as an update soon! Hudson will be a very lucky little boy to have you and Kevin for parents! I am excited for you with your exercise and food tracking! I am right there with you girl! Wish we lived closer, maybe we could support each other and work out from time to time.
    God bless your family!

  3. Hoping you get updates soon!!! We get how difficult it can be having his picture and information and knowing he is there growing and waiting but not being able to go and bring him home yet! Prayers with you!


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