the stain

It took me a week to think this story was funny enough to print here. Don't read it if you get grossed out by things toddlerish.

One morning last week I was running late for work, and dressed in our very dark bedroom while Kevin slept, pulling clean but unfolded laundry out of laundry baskets. While walking into work, I realized that my shirt was inside out. Oh well, no one will notice as I'll have a jacket over it anyway. A coworker followed me in with a funny look on his face. Before he could say anything, I said, "I know, I know. My shirt's on inside out." He replied, "Uh... there's a stain on the back, too." I can't print the thoughts running through my head at that moment in time. I thanked him for letting me know, and hurried on to get ready for work, pulling on my jacket, while he made some sort of comments about kids and stained laundry.

Three hours later I went in the bathroom to turn my shirt right side out. As I pulled off my shirt, I noticed THE STAIN. Not just a little stain, but a stain that was larger than the size of my hand. The size of the stain wasn't the problem... but that the stain looked like poop. Seriously, like someone had wiped a bottom with it. Oh. My. Gosh. I froze with humilitation. No. Way. This can't be poop!

What's a mother to do? Well, I examine the stain closely. This can't be poop. It has a greasy stain around the brown. Then... I do the test. The stiff test. I inhale a whiff while cringing.

No way. It's chocolate. CHOCOLATE! What's chocolate doing in the wash?!?!?

Oh, yeah. Chocolate covered almonds were 75% off last week, and my two year old "chalk-it" lover had some. I have a feeling that the little monkey put some in her pocket, stashing it away for later, and no one checked her pockets before her pants went into the wash.

All I could think about was that my coworker thought I was here at work with a giant poop stain on my back. I called him on the phone, but he was out for lunch. As soon as he returned, I had to find him right away to tell him that I just investigated this stain, having no idea that it was there, and it was chocolate. He laughed really hard and turned red in the face. Yep, he had thought it was poop.