Tuesday, May 26th - Sunday, June 7th this blog is hosting a book discussion surrounding Taiwanese-American adoptee Mei-Ling Hopgood's memoir "Lucky Girl."
In "Lucky Girl," Mei-Ling thought that the reason that she was released for adoption was because of poverty. After meeting her birthfamily in Taiwan, she learns that she and another sister were released for adoption because of their female gender. Her parents continued to try to conceive a son after their adoptions AND adopted a boy in order to have a son.
When adopting a child, families are usually provided with a social history of the birthfamily in order to understand what circumstances led to the child being released for adoption. How did reading about the secrets surrounding Mei-Ling's adoption make you feel? If you are an adoptive parent, did it cause you to question the information you were given surrounding your child's adoption?
Please feel free to comment anonymously to protect your family's privacy.
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After reading "Lucky Girl," I started questioning the story we were given regarding why our child was relinquished for adoption. Maybe the story is just too simple. What important details were left out, either by the birthfamily or by the facilitator, in order to help the birthfamily *save face*. If/When my child returns to Taiwan someday and reunites with birthfamily, what secrets will he/she uncover. Will the meeting be positive, or will it unearth truths that are difficult to deal with?
ReplyDeleteOur girls were adopted from China and information about the birth family is almost completely non-existant there. Sometimes I wish we knew more but other times I'm glad we don't have to wonder how much of what we might have been given was actually true.
ReplyDeleteDonna
Our blog: Double Happiness!
While I'm pretty sure that the circumstances of our child's adoption are trustworthy based upon details and events that corroborate, there are moments when I wonder how much we haven't been told. What, if anything, was left out? Was the bio. family keeping information from us or altering their story to protect our child or to protect themselves? And while I hate to think it, I sometimes wonder if the facilitating organizations might have "softened" details to make the adoption more appealing. These aren't comfortable questions to ask, but they're necessary ones. Mei-Ling's story just reminds me that things aren't always what they appear.
ReplyDeleteI also wonder about facilitators "softening" details to make adoptions more appealing. Sometimes it seems like our children were earmarked for international adoption because of undesirable circumastances (drugs, alcohol, mental problems, and trouble with the law) that would make domestic adoption unlikely. But did we get the whole story or just the part of the story that was easy to tell?
ReplyDeleteThere is information regarding my son's history/background that was not provided to me in the translated documents that we received. I don't know if this was an oversight in translation, or if it was intentional, but I feel the info was significant. One item regarded an injury he received during childbirth (and the location of his birth), the other regarded medical history of a grandparent. I have a friend from Taiwan who read through everything and provided this additional info. to me. The info WAS present in the Taiwanese documents, just not translated. I do worry a bit about the medical history issue - Would this have affected our decision to adopt? I just can't say... I know now that our son is fine, and beautiful and loveable and smart. He is the missing piece that completed the puzzle that is our family. I am delighted we made the decision to bring him home. At the same time, I also have two children adopted from China. For them we have only two tiny scraps of information - we know nothing of their background, or their history. They also light up our lives like no other children could. They are smart, and strong and precious. If I knew the complete history on any of my children, I might have hesitated bringing them home - now I know these are my children and I have no doubts.
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