I'm not sure where to start with this post, so bear with me as I get this off my chest.
(Step up on soapbox.)
Today at work woman said to me something to the effect of "You know, you just don't know if you can trust one of those towel head doctors." I was taken by surprise at this huge racial slur, and blown away that someone would use such a phrase with me, a virtual stranger on the phone. I don't care who you think you are, I don't care what my employer thinks of it... but no one, and I mean NO ONE, is using that language with me.
"Excuse me?" I said in shock. It took me a second to think of how to respond. I replied, "YOU WILL NOT will not use such racist language with me." I think this person got the hint that I was pretty pissed and apologized quickly. "I accept your apology, but please never use such language with me again." That pretty much ended our conversation.
This left such a dirty taste in my mouth, and this is only the beginning. I have a feeling that reading all the books in the word about trans-cultural adoption can't prepare you for getting the wind knocked out of you the first few times that some idiot makes a racist comment about or within earshot of your child. I feel like I know in my head what I want to do or say when I get into situations... but there's this disconnect between brain and lips when you're so shocked.
(Step off soapbox.)
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Wow. That is absolutely terrible but I truly admire you for telling the person immediately what you wouldn't tolerate. I hope that when you bring your little girl home that you don't encounter any of that. It's disgusting how some people are in this world.
ReplyDeleteDonna
Good for you to speak up and firmly set her right.
ReplyDeleteSadly, you may very well hear some ignorant comments once Hannah Claire is home. But I know you've got a good head on your shoulders and will rise to the occasion. I know you'll do us APs proud and more importantly, will say the right thing on your daughter's behalf.
You did the right thing by speaking out!! I am sure she felt ashamed (as she should be).
ReplyDeleteAdopting trans-racially definitely brings with it much more sensitivity in this area (and in others!)
Love you!!
xoxo
Stupidity. I am happy to say I haven't encountered any remarks from anyone about Sarah. Except one by one of my own family members. We got into a huge fight and still haven't recovered. It's sad.
ReplyDeleteIt's happened to us a few times. And shocks me especially since we live in an large expat community with people from all over the world. I've gotten the 'Is your husband Chinese?' 'Are you the nanny?' as she looks from me to my very Scottish/Irish looking son to my dd.
ReplyDeleteWe've also had a encounter at hubby's work when I came in to join him for a coffee with dd. A co-worker came over and right in front me sitting there asked where is her mother from? Umm, hello, sitting right there!
This is not near what some people have experienced and I am sure we will have more as she grows but it is appalling what some people thing is no big deal.
I usually probably freak people out because when I see a 'blended' family, I think its so cool and can't help but smile at them!
Someone at work with Brad was making a joke to Brad about "slant eyed people" and Brad quickly put a stop to that informing him his Daughter was one of those!! All the other guys around were looking like open mouth, insert foot. That is the only thing we have encountered and we live in a very small white community. Hopefully you won't have to deal with that too much! You did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteWow.. I can't even imagine what I would of said or done in that position. You did great putting your foot down. It so hard to think in this little town we live in that it would happen.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for setting her straight! :)
ReplyDeleteRacial remarks like that are always a sign of ignorance. I hate that we have to deal with people like that. You did the best thing possible...maybe she will think before she makes another remark like that.
ReplyDeleteIs is sad, it is unfortunate, but it is reality, isn't it? Thank you for sharing, and thank you for speaking up, but in a very polite way, (if you ask me!). I can't imagine what it's like to be the mom to a child who might be the subject of such ignorance (trans-racial adoption), but I have been the subject myself, and it's no fun. . .
ReplyDeleteOh don't even get me started! Just at a halloween party we got it and I did not even have a clue how to react- Miss Maya was Snow White and some guy nudged his wife and said "look's like Snow white is not white anymore!" My mouth is still hanging open! I really could not react because I was busy gathering my two little ones so we could get the heck out of there.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry this happened Sarah, but so proud of the way you handled it.
Janalee
I think I would have been speechless- I am glad you weren't. I love how you handled the situation.
ReplyDeleteWay to go Sarah! If more people spoke up the way you did then I think there would be far less people saying (and hopefully thinking) stupid things like this.
ReplyDeleteBTW- my favorite thing I've heard so far in regards to my son is, "Why didn't you adopt an American child instead of one of those?" Those? People can be so ignorant!
You handled it just right! I know that kind of encounter can shake a person up....I'm glad you shared, as it reminds us all to speak out in the face of bigotry and thoughtlessness.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
Lisa C.
Bravo Sarah! You go girl! Sometimes it can be hard to speak up so I applaud your courage. Yes, sadly, it does happen... the best thing to remember, we have mouths too, but educated ones! We're one up on this and as long as we keep plunking away at those "sour notes" one by one, we will succeed in making a beautiful composition of what America truly is destined to be. =0) Sara/Sofa
ReplyDelete