I've been reading up on attachment bonding getting ready for conversations with our social worker during the
homestudy process. Here's my favorite website on this topic right now:
Attachment 101 at A4
everFamily.org. The best parts are titled
Baby's Experience and
Immense Loss: Walk a Mile in Baby's Booties. We most likely won't be allowing anyone but us hold or feed our baby for six weeks to a few months, and we'll stay at home with baby a lot to aid in attachment bonding. A year ago I most likely would have thought that adopting parents that said something like this were selfish and overprotective. But after reading some horrible stories about kids with
RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), I want to to take reasonable steps to prevent attachment disorders in my family.
Here's a link to a commentary on the
Rumor Queen website on "
the-not-so-rosy part" of adoptions that I thought was really helpful too.
So... Moms, Dads, Brothers, Sisters... we'd appreciate it if you'd read a little about attachment too so you understand what we're trying to do. We wanted to give you a head's up so you're not
surprised when we bring her home. We really aren't crazy, well... you know what I mean!
Hi guys,
ReplyDeleteI just found you through the "salsa connection". I think it's really prudent that you are letting your friends and family know that you've taken the time to learn about some of the issues surrounding adopted kids, especially those who have been institutionalised. We tried this also, but still had to deal with alot of snarky comments and barbs and behind the back (and not so behind the back)comments.
We don't regret a single thing. Excpet maybe,worrying about what othes thought instead of what we knew needed to happen for our daughter.
6 weeks, 3 months, that is nothing compared to the rest of your child's life.
Manny blessings to you!
Anna